I almost forget how much they inspired me to write - to take breaths and collect my jumbled up thoughts only to untangle them with a pen and release them on to paper. I almost forgot how much they made me despise mind blocks and gain the greatest feel of accomplishment when I get over them.

The funny thing is, none of the two probably has any idea of the impact they had on me. How much it built on me and made me who I am today. Even though they barely even know me they will never be forgotten in my mind.

I guess there's a difference between forgetting and letting it slip your mind. So I didn't forget. It slipped my mind.

It's been so long but still
Her use of words never fail to amaze me. Her connection with sentences is extraordinary. Her choice of music is even what I can spend an eternity with. Even from an outsider's view I've never had a doubt that he would never let her go.

It's amazing when you still can feel the bond between two people that you don't even talk to anymore.

:) the past is the past but its still pretty cool if you ask me.

I finally understand why everything is so unstable and emotional for me now. During times of big changes in my life I always get like this, and I haven't noticed it until now. Seems like everyone is going down their own separate ways, doing their own separate things. Well, maybe that's just what I'm noticing because I'm not apart of those things anymore. I do miss them, but I am happier in a way now. I was so used to sharing everything with my friends. Now I can't and I won't be able to for a while because I don't have the time to. I guess it's just an opportunity cost for me to achieve my own goals. And right now I'm just simply adjusting. Doing my own things.


On a side note, I'm really craving some buttery popcorn right now.

So it's been a while since I've updated this...
I've had all four of my wisdom teeth pulled out yesterday so I'm still pretty much in a lot of pain right now. :( But other then that... I've extremely emotional and stressed out lately. One of the main reasons is because of dance.

fuck I SUCK SO SO SO SO MUCH NOW.
Seriously.
I was in bed the whole day watching So You Think You Can Dance and ABDC. Tears were friggin streaming down my eyes. I know... drama queen foreal eh?... well I couldn't help it! :(
I'm not even saying I was the best dancer alive. Really though, I'm not even that good. But for sure I was working really hard. I mean, I gave up a lot too - Spending at least 8 hours of bussing in every week... when time was always extremely crucial to me. There was no doubt that the work paid off though. I was excelling, more and more every week. But ever since summer has started my dancing has gone downhill faster than a friggin avalanche. I blame work. Not completely, but a huge portion of what stood in the way of workshops and practices is work. I friggin regret taking in three jobs so much. Honestly, I don't even need the money. I just got way too caught up trying to achieve a summer that's productive as possible. I was stupid to think I can manage everything at once. This had always been on my mind and it really bothered me. But two days ago, when my team captain told me that he noticed it too. It was a huge reality check. I need to do something about it.
I'm gonna quit all my jobs. Well... Maybe keep one that lets me work only 1-2 shifts a week so it won't get in the way of my school work and allow me to re-up my dancing...
Can't wait till Sept - gonna train mad hard. Just watch.



and -
I'm really scared that dance is going to end up the same way music did in my life.
Full of passion at first, then just start to drift away from it. I really hope nothing will be able to pull be back.

The right puzzle pieces will match and fit perfectly together at any given time. Obviously people are not puzzle pieces. Time doesn’t necessarily change us, so why is it changing how we fit?

Bad example, I know. But it’s the first one I can think of.
I guess all it is is that I really miss what it was like before all this.

Feeling is too strong, can't to take it slow
Let's go deeper -


and open up our minds

Let’s open up - just the two of us.
And
Let our minds engage and our past experiences merge into one never ending late night conversation. One that’s so powerful that time has to wait. So rare that it can forbid the sun from comming up. Let us help each other connect those words and build sentences that can sentence our connection to each and every night that is yet to come. Lock it up and never letting it slip because it just feels so everlasting, so unreal. Let’s unlock each other’s secrets and talk about how we’ve matured through the life changing lessens we had. Let’s trade perspectives, and give eachother different point of views that enables us look passed the pains and recognize the gains. Let's put each other into astonishment, by trading all the unless information we know and turn them into knowledge and facts. Let's penetrate our souls with questions and comments. Let's separate, but keep our presence in our mind so even distance is no match for this bond. Now I realized with real eyes - that feeling I’ve been yearning for is something only you can provide. Now let’s mend our interior scars and treat them like real scars that can be replace them with stronger muscle and skin. This is an awkward time to mention science but with what we have, we can create a new chemistry. We can escalate beyond our boundary and-

Stop

This is too good for us hit fast-forward.

Let’s let the repercussion spin. Who cares about the aftermath. It doesn’t matter because all we need is what’s right now. Let’s just… close our eyes and open our minds.

Really, a friend like you is exactly what I need.

It's Whatever, I'm in love with this.



Today was a perfect summer day - the sun, the people, the laughs, dance, and no work. It was burning hot but underneath all the sweat, the heat gave that exact summer feeling I've been longing for ever since the day school ended. The weather for this entire summer had been pretty shitty, and hopefully there will be another day like this soon to come.

Although others said we didn't get that much done today, I thought it was very productive. Mostly because I haven't been dancing or to practice for what feels like a million years. Stupid work has me on lock, and I'm hating it. I got caught up with everything for the audition, and it felt so good.

-everyone was late for practice as usual
-jordan got stung by a bee
-got free pizza and drinks provided by random stage people



Oh, and we managed to fit EIGHT people into justin's car. Three in the front, five in the back. lmao

The only down part was that no one brought a camera. :(